Freedom of the Doodle

At this point, I've given up on my New Year's resolution. But that's okay. I'm still creating, and I wasn't expecting to keep it up anyway. I wish I could will myself to sit down and work on what I should be doing, but progress doesn't happen that way for me.


There's a lot of thinking of what I want to do. I'm the "I have a lot of ideas" kind of girl. I wish I was more of the "I have all this energy but nothing to do" kind of person sometimes. I think life would be more fulfilling, but I'm me and I do what I can knowing myself.


I've been drifting through February and March kind of creating. I haven't been posting much since nothing was "post-worthy" in my eyes. I have been posting some sketches over on my Patreon, but I haven't been keeping up with that much either. There is a bright side to all of this!


I've filled up 6x more pages between February and this very point time compared to what I drew in January. I counted. I used 7 pages for drawing in my main sketchbook. 7. I've been creating like crazy from thumbnail sketches for future projects to random meme sketches to studies (I like to do an occasional "am I suffering from same-face syndrome" check once in a while.) There are some hidden gems that will eventually become fully rendered images, but those are only added to my already large pile of "eh. I'll color these eventually."


I think at some point I found myself asking "what can I create that will sell?" versus "what can I create that would make me happy?" Things became stiff and kinda lifeless as my little critic sneered "no one's going to buy this if the proportions are whack" or "draw a fullbody! there are way too many portraits in the market already."


I've been doing figure studies to practice adding motion into my work. More curves! Less straight lines! At some point, I was like ENOUGH!


I want to draw a character dipping their toes into some water dang it.


So I drew that.


I didn't use references.


"I should be using references. All great artists use references! You should be using references in your work."


True. Maybe one day if I choose to revisit these drawings, I'll have a side-by-side reference and some rulers to make sure the perspective is right and simulate gravity to find out if that branch will actually snap, but I just wanted to put ideas on paper. I wanted to draw a character with head empty and feet in the water! ( I've been having the urge to draw character sticking their toes in water for some reason??? Like I don't know if it's a subconscious thing with me wanting to dip my feet into some water, but here we are with a couple images of characters kicking around water. )



Aurora Thinking

( In this image, I was super proud of Aurora's right leg. It may be anatomically incorrect, but I love it so much.


I don't know why I made her  look so sad holding a flower. I was thinking about her holding a flower without petals, but I think that would've made the whole drawing sadder. :') )


My first drawing of this liberating doodle experience was of a character running away. It wasn't anyone in particular. I simply created a freehand sketch of a figure running away . The figure then turned into Aurora, and the next thing I knew, some semblance of a background popped up behind her.



Since the background was a last minute decision, the perspective's whack and the general concept doesn't make much sense. But I was having fun and it wasn't anything serious. I thought about including the figure she was running from, but that may be for another day. x]


I was then inspired to have Aurora show off her magical girl weapon to Inzor.



I had a couple ideas of how to execute what I wanted, and I ended up with this solution:


Aurora is showing off how her wand could transform into a sword, but Inzor can't see what's happening because she has no eyes. She tries to be nice and say how cool it is though.


I got a little carried away with the background, but I was having fun with it.


I was feeling like my younger self again. I just created and built on what I created and created more until I had a full page of chaotic fun. If I unpaused the image, everything might slide about, and characters might cry in pain for being so broken, and the world may collapse upon itself.


That's okay.


I'd prefer a full image that can be redrawn later than an image I started and gave up on since I was finicking with the details too much that the vision disappeared. I have way too many characters and stories in my head to take my time. While I'm creating one thing, I'm already buzzing with ideas of another world. While I draw one pose, I become inspired to do something similar.


I apparently have aphantasia. I don't get images in my head I can revisit later. I get urges like "I want to see Aurora pulling down Evneli and Vinny and Vinny completely losing her cool since she doesn't want to fall."


I don't have that visual in my head, so I just doodle it.



Aurora's arms are far too long, but would I rather spend the time fixing the arms, shifting the bodies, adjusting the arms some more if I shift the poses, and continuing this cycle until the drawing is no longer fun for me anymore or push out a drawing I'm laughing along with and consider to fix down the line? I'd rather keep the visual of Vinny's left leg being a noodle than ripping a hole through my paper in an attempt to be 100% accurate.


I don't know why Evneli is laughing so hard, and Aurora is doing her best to hold it in. In the next frame they all fell on top of each other. I guarantee it. Each time I look at Evneli I start laughing too. It's weird. Now I have a picture that I'll always laugh at and a picture I'll always scream at (don't ask.)


I guarantee that if I forced myself to slow down this early in the game, this drawing A) would not have been completed or B) look incredibly stiff.


Perhaps one day I will be able to pump out a lively anatomically correct person from the get-go. I believe my figure practice sketches is helping with that. Until I get there, I hope to continue to be free with my initial drawings and then worry about rendering them correctly later on. Once that light of inspiration passes, it won't come back for me unfortunately.


Maybe there will be more sketches on my twitter and instagram timelines...Maybe I'll actually render more items to ensure my timeline doesn't become completely black and white. We'll see.


But until next time, stay healthy and safe~<3

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